Mary's "to do" list::::

Buy Mum's gift--certificate to the salon where she gets her hair done
Buy mum's gift from dad--"White Linen" shitty perfume and VS "Divine"
    Wrap it
Charge Jessica's gift (my old PSP)
    Locate all the shit that comes with it
Buy textbooks for school
Change availability at work
Buy food for Christmas breakfast
Send out holiday cards
Get together with Rosie and Steffie for camping supplies
Clean room
Wrap dad's gift--dumbells
Bake cookies for coworkers
Finish "Watchmen" before 2009
Start reading 'Gulag'
Buy Shannon's gift
    Wrap it


Holiday fail!!

Erin and I have spent every day off running around looking for Christmas presents. The whole scheme has been poorly planned. I think we've been to Wiregrass 5 or 6 times. Hey, they have a Barnes and Noble, so it's not a total bust. It sucks that it's always teeming with people--usually dumbass preteens whose mothers dropped them off who think they're cool as shit loitering outside of Hot Topic, dumbass mothers with babies in strollers who block doorways at 9 o' clock at night when their kids should be in bed instead of suffering another late night because their mother can't curb her desire to spend spend spend, or dumbass old people who I don't even need to go into a tirade about because they're old people and everyone knows they just like to putz around staring off into space.
Where was I going with that?
Oh yeah, Wiregrass. Nice place.
I kinda fell in love with Juicy Couture's "Viva La Juicy". It smells divine, but I can't justify spending 65$ on a bottle of perfume...plus, I hate Juicy Couture. Their clothes are ugly and tacky and overpriced and people who wear them look like jackasses.
Erin and I also spent 6 hours baking cookies for our respective departments. We made some gingerbread with clove from scratch and rolled out these little tiny bastard gingerbread men. We ended up whipping up 6 dozen or so of em and decorated each one by hand. Towards the end the charm had worn off, so the last 40 or so were just gingersnaps with festive icing. The little men were too cute, but decorating them was a total bitch. I blame peer pressure for getting me through it. That, and "House" was on. Erin's men are totally cute. Mine look like they have cum dripping from their mouths instead of charming little white scarves.
Rat died. Poor thing. Hamsters don't have very long lives, but Rat had a good life full of grapes and power pats. It was a little sad and a little ironic--my mum didn't like him but chose to be the one who gave him kibble on the day we found him dead in his igloo. I think she administered a poisoned grape, but I can't be sure!
So Rat got replaced with the now-nameless extremely fat other hamster. She's cute and very evenly mannered. I think we got her pretty old too because the guy at the pet store told me she was difficult to sell because she was so fat. How could someone not find all that chub endearing!?
I work Sunday through Wednesday and I have Christmas off. Unfortunately, I open tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday and I hate opening. There's something about getting up at 3am that just rubs me the wrong way. My body's like, WTF? It's bedtime. We can't sleep here....
Wednesday I work at 11:30, but we close at 7 so everyone should be home by 8:30 or so. Christmas Eve at home! Yay. I cannot possibly fathom what the hell I'm going to do except maybe a DEGRASSI MARATHON!?! Hells yes.

In case you haven't read www.usforacle.com/southern_states_poor_in_christmas_spirit this little gem, I encourage you to scoot on over to the USF Oracle and see why I'm so proud to be a part of this University!

Southern states poor in Christmas spirit

Jennifer L. White, Columnist

Christmas should only be celebrated where there is snow on the ground. That may be a little extreme, but when it comes to celebrating Christmas, southern states seem to disproportionally favor the tacky over the tasteful. Compared to what I’ve known, a southern Christmas feels wrong.

Houses should be elaborately decorated with lights shining down every street corner — palms tangled with strings of Christmas lights do not count.

The local grocery store should not be the only place in town where it “feels like Christmas” to me and people are excessively joyful. The hot, humid Southern climate isn’t exactly appropriate for the holiday season, either. I’ve heard of having a blue Christmas and a white Christmas, but not a green one.

Beyond the inappropriate landscape, weather and out-of-place decorations, the naivety of Southern people makes me loathe celebrating Christmas here.

Even Christmas shopping in the South is an experience I could live without. It’s one thing to spend hours in lines or running around town shopping for gifts up north where everyone is cozily bundled up, toting coffee in one hand and 10 bags in another.

In the South, it is incredibly awkward to walk around overcrowded malls, hearing “Jingle Bells” playing in the background — while watching people run around frantically in tank tops and flip-flops.

And the Southern version of Christmas decorations is just as obnoxious. Northern homes are festooned with expensive, elaborate and traditionally themed adornments. Enormous Northern houses are decorated in a more natural tone with massive wreaths, miles of lights line roofs and windows, colossal Christmas trees stand illuminated in front of cathedral windows and yards are uncluttered by plastic reindeer. Southern homes are lit with tacky icicle lights, with giant blow-up Santas leaving front lawns in disarray.

In the traditional North, holiday themes create a welcoming atmosphere. There is no feeling quite like that of Christmas morning, sitting near a fireplace in a well-decorated room with a tree — trimmed to perfection — while watching the snow fall lightly outside the window.

On the other hand, the Southern Christmas experience entails decorations like ornaments and figurines of half-nude Santas on surfboards, lying on pool rafts or sipping margaritas on the beach. Southerners even dare to go as far as displaying snow globes, which are traditionally beautiful and often expensive keepsakes, that contain the remnants of melted snowmen — top hat, eyes, buttons, broom and carrot nose.

The entire essence of Christmas in the South is worlds apart from the pristine, traditional American idea of the perfect Christmas. Christmas in the South simply exemplifies the commercialization of holidays, full of kitsch and campiness. It has been stripped of its original context and purpose — leaving the spirit of giving, cheer and lightheartedness to the imagination. Southerners need to rethink their decorations, to things that are classier and more traditional.

For Southerners who have never experienced a true Christmas — snowy mornings, fireplaces, mittens, frost on the windows, colorful lights illuminating the sky — and have only seen depictions of one in A Christmas Story, I can honestly say that they are missing out on one of life’s greatest experiences.

Jennifer L. White is a junior majoring in mass communications.

I texted Rosie and Steffie, requesting that they update their livejournals so we can all have an epic trifecta of updated-ness, but, alas, it wasn't meant to be.
It seems that Rosie has "forgotten her password" and Steffie is incapable of following simple orders!
Thus, the cheese stands alone, making me the sole provider of 1/3 of the entry updated-ness.
In case you're wondering where the heck that February 2008 entry popped out of, I don't know. It would seem I wrote it and set it to private, which doesn't make any sense, but it seems very little does these days.
So, here is Mary's LIFE UPDATE!
1.) I got another turtle. His name is Oscar and I rescued his ass from the middle of the Publix parking lot where it seems a bird, having scooped him up for a tasty lunch, accidentally dropped him like a stupid motherfucker. I, never skipping an opportunity to make myself out to be a total freak-o by collecting random reptiles, took him home and gave him his own tank so he could heal his broken shell. Well, it just so happens, I love him so goshdarnmuch, I decided to keep him. He's a map turtle and tiny compared to the behemoth that is Homer, the red-eared slider (whom, might I add, made a foiled attempt at suicide earlier this year by climbing onto the filter and out of the tank. THANKFULLY, I always leave a pile of laundry all over my bedroom floor. His fall was cushioned by my hair dying towel.
2.) I had the epic summer of epic-ness which included: working, a trip to the glorious Bahamas, a jellyfish sting, lemon sobert and vodka shooters, camping, wooooooooooo!, the world TALLEST WATERSLIDE! and the WORLD'S WORST WEDGIE! All in all, not a bad summer, except for the work part which constituted 95% of it.
On the plus side, whilst camping I got to see Alicia again, which is always nice. Also, camping rocks.
3.) I may or may not be a child's Godmother. I'll get back to you.
4.) 32 credits to go and I will officially be a graduate of USF. Can you smell the excitement!? Can you feel it!?

Jess, Erin, my mother and I went Christmas shopping today. Rosie and I went out the other night to Build-A-Bear (why? To make our offical camping mascot, of course!)and talked a little bit about how we'd have to start dressing more professionally soon and crap. So, I decided I was going to cut down on the number of t-shirts I was buying and start lookin' like a respectable human being *sigh* Today I got a lot of nice clothing, so hopefully I'll start dressing a little sharper.
I have Jessica's gift done :) but Erin and I need to do our gift together. We're going to Build-A-Bear to make eachother some ish. For the record, no, I am not in love with Build-A-Bear, nor do I own stock in the company, BUT the experience has been fun and Erin and I like to do goofy things.
Work has been okay. I'm working full-time because I only have one full-time semester left of school. The pay has been significantly better because the bonuses are bigger. I also get paid vacation and sick days, which are nothing to shake a stick at!
The only real downside of it, other than the entirely incompetant coworkers, is the cold weather and the mixture of chicken blood and citrus has caused my hands to break out in these really bad, dry bloody rashes. For serious. I, personally, think it's caused by leprosy and/or flesh eating bacteria, but my sister's diagnosis is, "Stop being such a whiny bitch. No one wants to hear your shit." The prognosis is good. With any luck, my fingers will rot off within a few days and I won't have to work for the rest of forever. Take that, bitches.
My schedule for next semester consists of:
1) American History I. Can you believe I didn't get credit for this from high school? Me neither, which is why I assumed I got it and took American History II first. Colonization to the Civil War is a total snooze, by the way. I'm sure you know I'm piss-your-pants excited.
2) Gay and Lesbian History in the US. I needed it to fill in a block in my schedule, plus, it's 4 credit hours! Plus, everyone knows I'm a crazy liberal feminist who loves the gays :) I think it's actually going to be pretty interesting
3) US Environmental History. Pretty self-explanatory.
4) France since 1789. You know, to break up the monotony of learning about the US. Plus, Napoleon!!

I deleted the old journal, save for the lyrics from Truly, Madly, Deeply. I just love that little song so much, I decided to keep it.
I hadn't even realized I'd written so many entries over the years. Hundreds, really, but i keep deleting them.
So much has changed, so I've decided to start over. Hopefully getting rid of some of the old shit will be cathartic.
Quick update before bed;
1. Pleco is dead :(
2. School's in session and it's all good. Two more semsters, if everything goes according to my master plan. I like school, but I just really want to be done with it at this point. I genuinely think that college wasn't right for me. I don't take it seriously; I don't overly enjoy it. Some days I really want to become an ad exec. Most days I feel like I should accept my fate and just become a teacher, which was my original career choice before my switches. Had it not been for that, I could've been out by now.
3. Chuen's been transferred and both of us are really unhappy. It wasn't really fair to begin with, and Chuen and I have a tenuous relationship to start with. I really only saw him at work, so i guess I could count on never seeing him at all. C'est la vie. People come and go, it's a natural part of life and certainly one that I need to work better at embracing.
4. Katelyn's in New York, but she'll be back in Florida for a week in June for her sister's graduation. June? I recall graduating in May, but I guess something got shifted, although I thought the school year was starting earlier to accomodate for the FCAT.
5. I've been volunteering at a soup kitchen after class on Tuesdays for the past 2 months of so and I've really enjoyed it. I experienced a shift sometime last year and somehow find myself more at ease around people and many of the people, including the vounteers, have been super sweet. It's been cold these past few weeks though, and I always find myself outside in a skirt doing it. *facepalm*
6. My class schedule--I'm currently fucking around with my exit requirements, finishing them up before cranking out two semesters of major workload and then, finally, graduating. I just remembered Jessica's boring-ass graduation...sitting in the Sundome for 5 hours while everyone and their mom got their degrees...Needless to say, I'll be skipping mine-a decision I made last year and I fully intend on following through with. Firstly, no one wants to attend everyone else's graduations because they're boring, so I don't really care to torture those closest to me. 2. I don't care to torture myself. 3. College was difficult and I've spent a lot of time and effort to get to the point where I'll be graduating. But, honestly, I didn't really kill myself in the process.
I wanted to take some sort of phys ed course this semester, so I signed up for karate. I am currently a white belt and plan on staying a white belt until I die.
I also have a course called Women and Communication. I don't really know where the Communication part comes in....it's more like feminist perspectives. I've been having a lot of fun with it. My professor is hilarious

The Weatherman
Says "Fine today"
There's not a cloud
To come my way
But It's rain-ing
Raining in my heart